I'm struggling with something that should be soooo easy, especially given my just having completed something similar that was (or should have been?) more challenging. This is a good reminder that strengths and weaknesses, abilities and disabilities (within ourselves), insight and blindspots are not evenly distributed throughout our beings, they're not relevant 'across the board', almost never.

I built my website on SquareSpace in a matter of a couple weeks. When I had questions, I emailed tech support or looked for answers in their database of questions. Putting together the website was no more complicated than writing the content. There are a couple peices I'm leaving for my tech helper to do, but I got it to the point of up and running, workable, 98% done.

MailChimp, however, is another story. They, offer a wide variety of tech support methods--video tutorials, searchable database of FAQ, emailing tech support (with fast turn around on replies). The process for setting up forms and campaigns guides you through, step by step, having you select what you want and plug in your info. Should be cake, right? But I'm finding I'm constrained by the overly-rigid format. (At least I think this is the problem, at this juncture.) I can't figure out how to get out of it what I need to have in place and I'm not finding the help that I need, even with all of these tech support options. I'm right now waiting on a reply to another email I sent out to tech support.....

This mirrors other things in life. You have the skills, knowledge and experience but something is a little different this time and it trips you up. You find yourself floundering in a sea when you had just entered a pool...how did that happen? It's a good place to manage frustration because no other people are around. Practice patience with yourself. And actually, how awesome is it that these services come with free tech support! I have no dearth of things to do, so I get to finish some other project.

Oh, I had a lesson. No, it was practice, in vulnerability the other day. I had sent out my MailChimp link via my personal email to invite people to sign up for my email lists for my practice (turns out I had been spamming all of these years and didn't realize it!). Several hours later I remembered that it is recommended that one send out campaigns to one's self so you can monitor it. I sent out the email to myself and signed up for my list.

I was horrified to find that the last screen offered the option to go back to what one was doing before, or to go to the website of the email list!! As far as I was concerned, my website was off line, private, not accessible and not visible to the public!!! I had a some stuff on my website that was rather personal, that I was considering having there, but I wasn't sure..... I felt exposed. Really, uncomfortably exposed.

After a freak-out, where I had a friend of mine test the PayPal to make sure it was functioning and I made sure that all of the pages were enabled, I did some editing. But I decided, at least so far, to include the parts that make me feel exposed. I feel in the long run these are the parts that make for good relationships, show the work that I'm doing, and show that I'm real. Yes, one can be a superhero and have fears at the same time. There's evidence that the progressive business sense has enveloped vulnerability. And, really, this is where I want to be--unsure, exploring, feeling a bit exposed, on the edge, a bit uncomfortable. It's where I trust I can connect with others better and it's where I can most be myself.

My practice truly is my best source of practice.